The best of DC tourism promo photography

One question I am surprised to be asked so often, both in my capacities as a blogger, and human residing within the limits of the District of Columbia, is “what should I do while I’m there?”

There are, of course, plenty of things to do and see during your stay in Washington, DC. It is appropriate for all ages, budgets and subcultures. I don’t know of a single resident who can honestly claim to have done all the tourist mumbo-jumbo at our ungrateful, unpolished fingertips. But, don’t take my word for it! I’m just a blogger from Chicago. You can find a more reliable resource than that.  It just so happens that you are in luck – Washington, DC is home to a burgeoning industry of tourism photography and stock photos, which should answer any questions about DC-related activities you may have. Broads of the Beltway is proud to share with you a few tourist marketing gems to entice you to make it out to the Capital.

This photo  depicts just one of the many children’s programs offered by the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History, which is also known as ‘the one with dinosaurs and rocks.’ The kids are clearly enthralled with a hunk of tree bark provided by the museum. This has relieved them of the unsavory task of finding one of their own during unstructured outdoor play, which everyone knows kids would joyfully forgo if given the option to learn about botany instead. The boy in the navy shirt has likely been instructed to draw the bark’s likeness, which, you know, doesn’t really seem too hard. Because in DC, your kids won’t be discouraged by failure. And, why should they be? Our politicians don’t seem too discouraged by it, either.

If you personally recognize anyone in this DC City Segway Tours photo, then congratulations! You now have someone in your life that you can blackmail into indentured servitude. If, God forbid, in my own youthful naivete, I myself had once gone on a segway tour that was caught on film, I would do practically anything to keep it hush-hush. Use this to your advantage, lucky reader. You are in for one hell of a foot rub. Or, you know, a treasure chest of jewels.

Um, WHO THE FUCK made a cut-out-person-chain out of the STAR-SPANGLED BANNER?!? This is really bad, bro. SHIT. Be cool. Maybe no one will notice. Dude! They totally won’t. It’s cool. Just act like it was already there. NBD.

Here are some kiddies enjoying the Smithsonian Sleepover Program. And, by the looks of it, this footage was probably found three weeks after they went missing and were presumably Blair Witch Project’d away from the National Mall.

Shortly after this photo was taken, I think it is safe to say that this kid started noticing that he could scale the walls of skyscrapers and keep his city safe from super villains. Unfortunately, he was probably on a class trip from Nebraska or something, and the super villains just don’t really find the time to get out there much.

Enjoy your stay, folks!

– A half-assed vacation planning Natalie

About Natalie Shure

literature, life and latte lady

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