Google me this: all roads lead to this blog

If you have ever written a blog (or, like me, launched and quickly abandoned several of them,) then you may have had the experience of obsessively tracking your own site stats. By enlisting the noble assistance of WordPress and Site Meter, we are able to keep tabs on how many people read each post we write, where our readers are located, which posts are read the most frequently, and how much time a given visitor spends dog paddling through our archives. None of these tidbits compare, however, to the hilarity of the ‘site referrals’ section – not only can we see how forlorn blog visitors have found our links, we can actually read the phrases they googled in order to land here.

Since our blog’s inception, there have been hundreds of unique Google searches that catapulted unsuspecting internet users into our hot pink Bermuda triangle of the World Wide Web. Here is a hand-picked sampling of a few of my favorite searches that have brought readers to Broads of the Beltway.

Tiaras for men
Technically, tiaras already are unisex accessories – there is really nothing gendered about the contours of a human head. If the trouble is, then, that you are in search of a more manly tiara, then I am afraid that the Venn Diagram of “tiaras” and “brawn” may in fact be a drawing of two circles.

when are we going to find out if mei xiang is pregnant
Publicists representing the National Zoo’s panda have indeed been mum on the rumored new tenant of Mei Xiang’s uterus. Until they make an official announcement, it is probably best to wait and see if Mei Xiang suddenly begins ordering virgin daiquiris, wearing maxi dresses, flashing amped-up cleavage or crying at every episode of Dawson’s Creek.

ways to tell your roomate serial killer
This is tricky. Although unaccountable body parts in communal spaces, bloodied weapons and meaningfully annotated copies of The Catcher in the Rye could all hint that your roommate might be a serial killer, they could also simply mean your roommate has only murdered one or two people, which could hardly be considered a ‘series.’

does+couples+get+intimate+on+skype
The lack of subject-verb agreement in the phrase ‘does couples’ leads me to believe that the search is actually referring to lesbian deer. Don’t get me wrong – I get that rampant deforestation has probably torn many a star-crossed woodland romance asunder. What really confuses me is how they point the web-cam toward their deer-bits using their hooves.

paraguard and bicycle
Um, I could be off-base here, but I think that if you are concerned about your bike interfering with your IUD, you might be riding it wrong.

– a delighted that you found us Natalie

About Natalie Shure

literature, life and latte lady

2 Responses to “Google me this: all roads lead to this blog”

  1. I love finding out how people get referenced to a specific blog.
    So far my favorite for my blog is “how to have sex with my younger sister”
    sadly they must have been upset with what they found.
    -K

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  1. Deer hoofs | Trscomputerser - 2011/09/29

    […] Google me this: all roads lead to this blog | broadsofthebeltway […]

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